Nove 21 - 24, 2008

Friday, November 21, 2008 9:06 AM, EST
I said it before, Casey [my 7 year old] rocks. As I was heading out for work this morning, and he was excited about a friend of mine coming to play wii with him tonight, he says "Gotta have a fun weekend to get ready for next week". In my morning rush I said "What's next week?" He said "More doctor time for you - no fun, BORING". He then gave his daddy the third degree on the way to school about cancer and smoking and how did his great grandfather die and treatment for me. Mind you, he wasn't stressed, more like fact finding. I can't say how glad I am however that he nailed Chris with the questions and not me [sorry Chris!]. Casey is too much - that little brain is always churning. My mommy panic had origionally wanted to hold back as much info about me as possible to protect him...hate it when the 7 year old outsmarts you an makes it clear that having information is a lot less scary than just not knowing. That's why it does suck right now. Have to wait for Monday's biopsy [sure to be a good time] and then the lovely 24 hour wait for results to find out the next step of the treatment plan.
Can't say enough how much I appreciate the good mojo - I take that seriously as I have a solid belief in a professional and personal sense that emotions are to be used and learned from and not feared. When fear takes over, then it's time to work out the kinks and refocus. Not ignore it - use it. Hell, if my 7 year old can take his anxiety and focus it into the inquisiton his daddy got today - I can harness mine too. I love kids.
Now get to work people. OK - I guess that was really aime towards me...

Saturday, November 22, 2008 11:35 AM, EST
I wan't going to post today - really I wasn't. Nothing going on, nothing new, waiting for biopsy Monday and results Tuesday to be able to move on in treatment and figure out where things are at. Casey is getting ready for a sleepover with his buddy, Logan is being Logan and making a mess.Then I started looking for my cell phone. Wasn't in the normal places, battery was probably dead. Then I heard the thump-thump-thump in the dryer and it all became clear. You see Logan had a little bit of a barf fest last night [poor kid can't shake this cold and spit up on my lap] and I have been doing laundry this morning...you see where this is going. Yep - I washed my cellphone...again. I did this in the spring and had to mooch my brother in law's old palm to get through the day. Good thing I still have it. Good thing I only bought the cheapest phone available last time I pulled this stunt. No phone is safe around stress brain. Thought you lurkers would appreciate a peek into my rediculousness. Have a good weekend, send me a big jolt of clear lymph node carma on Monday!

Monday, November 24, 2008 2:16 PM, EST
Well now, that was fun. No better way to start the week than to watch your boob/armpit being poked at in the ultrasound screen. Good thing I'm a discovery channel freak. In case you wanted to know when it comes to biopsies, size does matter...needles that is, smaller is better. Today's procedure was better than the first really, now it is just tic toc...tic toc...I'll know which way the fork in the road turns around 2p tomorrow. For the googlers out there wanting details, there are few so far, a 2.5 cm tumor and two swollen nodes, pathology should clear some things out tomorrow. Leener - don't google - you are not allowed, if I found out you did, I'll call your boss and tell her you are goofing off at work. :) I'll update tomorrow when I get the results. I'm not sure what I'm hoping for out of this stage of the game...oddly enough...I just want the path to be whatever gets it out of me, all of it. The details are quickly becoming irrelevant, I just want it gone.