Thursday, January 22, 2009 10:07 AM, EST
Countdown to round three. Just as my skin is starting to clear, I can taste food, I can eat fruits and veggies, the headaches are gone...time to climb back in the gauntlet. SO armed with guided imagery, energy work [i.e.voodoo - great stuff], heartburn meds, anti-nausia meds, steroids, posicles, ginger ale, bread & crackers in the kitchen, kids occupied for the weekend, fresh batteries in the remote...ready to go. We'll see how the arsonal holds up. Though I dread each treatment, there is value in counting down...after this I'll have one more go round with this drug - then I can say I'm halfway done. The treatment room is a surreal place to spend your day - never know what blend of people will be there - though I am consistently by far the youngest with breast cancer, there was a guy in his twenties there last time. Some of the older folks are a riot though - they've seen enough of this world to not let a disease break their spirit - they can be more sarcastic and irreverant than me, which makes the time pass well. Then there's the terrified ones, whether it's the patients, or the people with them trying to act like they are fine with this bizzarre world...I find myself trying to smile bigger and perk up for them - you never know what the back story is with the quiet ones. It does give me a clear awareness of how hopeful my scenario is, when you spend the day with those with stage 4 disease, painful disease, or a spirit that is just spent. I, of course try to stick by the jokesters, and am armed with a laptop and ipod to pass the time for those times when the room gets too quiet. They need to invest in those TV's like at the dentist...or maybe I am just too dependant on distractions to pass the time [cut me some slack - 7 hours is a LONG time!!]. Have a good weekend - send good mojo my way - I'll check in when I come out the other side...
Saturday, January 24, 2009 3:57 PM, EST
Well, I am hoping I am not jinxing myself by saying this - but I am actually faring a bit better this round...managed to shower and eat before 12n - a vast difference from the last two rounds. Still have the light and noise sensitivity and "food" is soup - but hey, its calories and hydration. I'll take it. Granted, yesterday I was loaded up with 4 anti-nausia drugs, two antacids, steroids...in addition to the 3 poisons...so I guess by sheer numbers the good meds finally are making a dent in the bad ones. A new kick in the tail however - had my first hot flash today...yes, I am 36 and had my first hot flash. And I am such a dork I took my temperature 3 times thinking I was getting sick before I let myself remember a recent warning from my oncology nurse practitioner that the flashes would be here soon...this same woman had my hair loss pegged down to the day. Guess I should mark her words next time. Thank God [and Lynn and Beth and Mel and others] for all the scarves I have now b/c no way will some of my hats or a hot wig ever work if more of those flashes are on the horizon - I'd be a sweaty mess!! [OK, maybe TMI, but you all seem to like the real me - so here she is - bald, barfy, now steamy...thank God for accessories and make up!] Thanks again for all the prayers, mojo, jokes...and normalcy in very abnormal times. It helps each round more than you'll know. Being able to have decent meals for the kids & Chris [he makes it home a bit late in the evenings] when I can hardly think of a food I want to eat gives the boys a needed bit of normal. Well, back to my chicken noodle, we'll see if I upgrade to rice tonight!!
Friday, January 30, 2009 9:25 AM, EST
So as we dig out from this crazy ice storm, and find out who has power, who is still out, who showed up for work, and restlessly wait for this town to get back to normal, I am tremendously thankful that we have power, and that mom is at my house with the kids so I could escape. I love my boys, you know that, but good Lord - 3 days trapped in with 2 and 7 year old boys whose energy never seems to lessen is enough to send the most dedicated mom running back to the office! Kudos to Leener for making me bundle up the kids the other day to get out in the snow [I was so not feeling up to playing in the snow, and me falling on ice is not an option thanks to chemo love] the boys had a good time - I'll get pics up soon. Too bad Leener has to have new bruises for her efforts - I guess somebody has to remember what snow days are about! Chemo wise, I'm coming back to life, side effects no worse than last time but always changing just enough to keep me on my toes, I get blood counts today to see how I'm doing there...hope everyone stays warm, I'll check in again soon!
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