Jan 5 - 15 2009

Monday, January 5, 2009 9:03 AM, EST

After being locked in my mother's basement with Casey's Karate teacher for an hour Saturday night [not nearly as Desperate Housewives as it sounds], I attempted to have a conversation with my mom about simplifying things...that it really is ok if every routine doesn't get met. I can't say I got anywhere with that, I come from a long line of anxious perfectionsists - at least you know I get it honest. Lord knows I am learning the "pick your battles" deal the hard way - and so is anyone around me on a regular basis. My 7 year old has done very well adjusting to things just being a bit different - he has learned that being tossed around family members has a serious benefit to him b/c they spoil him rotten! Co-workers have experienced me coming to meetings w/o key paperwork, and politely emailed it in w/o a word...my boss has heard me say "I'll get that done today", and not said a word when it came to her desk two days later. Eileen has been kicked out of my house simply b/c I was done with the noise...all gifts in their own right to someone who is trying to readjust priorities! Maybe mom will someday accept the liberation that getting down to basics brings...ok, maybe not. Regardless, if I were to have a New Years Resolution, it would be to clean up, and organize, not to get everything done, but to get what I need and want done. Wish me luck!

Cancer wise, coming off this round is going better than the first, I plan to enjoy the good weeks coming,and figure out how to eat [again]...going back in is always going to be the challenge - at least I can say I am 25% done with Chemo. Till then, Logie has a birthday coming up...whew, talk about spoiled!



Friday, January 9, 2009 4:41 PM, EST

Hi All - Dr. updates for the week. I now have confirmation that I am not just wishiful thinking, but the tumor is "drastically" reduced, according to the surgeon and oncology nurse practitioner [and to me]. So we know the poison fits the demon, and this chemo is killing this cancer - a perk of doing chemo first, I get to know that it is working. We tweaked the plan a bit more for round three, but if this is as good as it gets, at least I know it's doable. I have felt mostly human this week, and even managed to catch up on drastically late paperwork and reached the bottom of the stacks of papers on my desk [and on my shelves, on file racks etc...] for the first time since this started. The irony is, just as I am all proud of myself that I have this round licked, my Dr. appt takes forever today, my port took forever to work [how hard should it be to get blood out of your jugular vein??], and I found out my blood counts are in the dumper. Now melodramatic as that sounds, it is not shocking that the counts are bad[leaving me prone to infection], I just thought I would know it if they were. So now I'm on antibiotics and supposed to avoid all things germy...seriously...I have two kids, I work with foster kids, and I'm supposed to stay germ free? If I wasn't a hypochondriac before, this might just do it for me. If anyone knows how to make a two and a seven year old less cootie ridden in Louisville in January, please feel free to share your tricks. Until I figure that out, time to restock my favorite Bath and Body Antibacterial collection so at least I'll smell nice while obsessively washing my hands.

Thursday, January 15, 2009 8:50 AM, EST

Good morning all - not much new...these are the good days before gearing up for round three. So it's be a good little chemo patient, take my meds,stay hydrated [far harder than it sounds], and try to salvage my skin [raging case of chemo acne] before we flood my already agitated body with more poison. No major fallouts from the low blood counts [other than the acne] - just the knowledge that I am not superhuman and my blood drops like most others do, so I have to schedule wisely. [Hate these reminders that I am indeed not superhuman]. Logie turns 2 today, - hard to believe - even harder to believe what a bullheaded fearless little spirit he is...yikes, the teen years are gonna be interesting with this one! The showdown last night was "No Mommy want sucker RIGHT NOW" and the glass breaking screetch that followed when I said no...can't imagine where he gets that attitude. :) Maybe that will work for me... "No Dr. - Want better meds RIGHT NOW". I'll let you know how it works if I get that desperate.