April 8 - 14 2009

Friday, May 8, 2009 7:36 AM, EDT

I know I haven't checked in in a bit - this is the good week after all, so I've been playing a little catch up at work...wish I could say the same about my housework, but oh well. I have to watch Casey's class today for Teacher Appreciation day - how badcould 25 first graders be for an hour and a half? I know, better off not asking. No GA updates, I haven't watched this week's episode yet. American Idol, however, was a disgrace [except for the Daughtry tune...]. Paula's number was just icky, and Allison should not have been booted. I know, I have reality show issues - my theory is, I see enough reality all day long, a little junk on TV in the evening is a nice break!

LAST CHEMO ROUND IS TUESDAY!!! God willing it is just one more battle with the blood counts and germ warfare, one more time dealing with mouth sores and everything tasting like I'm licking concrete, one more round of the body achy flu and tingly hands and feet, one more round of looking in the mirror and wondering just how far the rash will go! And God forbid my hair might finally have a shot of growing back in! Just one more round...

Have a good weekend, be nice to your moms, I'll check soon!



Monday, May 11, 2009 7:45 AM, EDT

Warning - the combination ofmy last round and watching Grey's Anatomy very late at night may be a bit toxic....here goes:

My sister told me I would either love last weeks GA, or hate it. Not sure if it was love or hate, but I know it made me gasp -- out loud -- twice I gasped. Then of course there were the tears streaming as Izzy gets her dream wedding, and her prince charming says and does all the right things under pressure. The first gasp was [predictably] whe Alex pulls the flower out of her hair, along with some hair. The second was when she took the scarf off. They really did it. They shaved the bombshell [or did a remarkable makeup job, but for the late nite viewers sake, it was shaved]. And once again, the damned bald head is once again a sign of a woman being torn apart for the sake of the chance at a cure - why is that? And no matter how hard you fight it, and bare it, and feel fine about it, somehow it still remains this visual of what chemo does to you. Other survivors know this, and immediately give you that wink or smile that says, "I know...hang in there...you can make it". I have already found myself in the position to give that smile to others, and I am not even through the gauntlet yet. I admit it - I want my hair back. And my health back. And my life back. And Izzy made me gasp. I actually felt a little guilty for ranting before on how they need to make this look more real. Good thing the season finale is coming up, or this GA cancer thing could get out of hand!

LAST ROUND TOMORROW!!! I don't think I've given enough credit for what this milestone would mean. I'm not sure if the emotionality comes from fatigue, joy, or just plain relief that I made it. I will wear the tacky tiara with pride. May even take a picture [and those who know me well know I don't often do pictures willingly!] Happy Monday all - have a good week!

Thursday, May 14, 2009 7:51 AM, EDT


WoooooHooooo!!! No more chemo!! Hopefully the wooohoo will get me throughthe next 2-3 weeks of side effects w/o being too grumpy, as the steroids wear off today, we'll just have to see! At least I'll be able to chant - "Last time, last time" when I get aggravated. Regardless, it was a milestone, with more to come. Part of the no more chemo rally cry came a "Oh crap, I have surgery in three weeks and alot to do before then!" Thanks to my family who came to celebrate, the Murphy's at the center, and the Keith ladies at lunch afterwards.

I meet with my oncologist next week for the remaining pre-surgery questions, and the plan for Tamoxifen and radiation, follow up scans etc. Surgery is 6/2/09, I'll stay one night and go home the morning of 6/3/09 [surgery is at Baptist East]. That's all for now - take care all!