June 10 - 18 2009

Wednesday, June 10, 2009 1:43 PM, EDT

Happy rainy hump day all - I never posted the rest of the story after I talked to my oncologist yesterday. I like my surgeon, but I like talking to my oncologist way better! He was pretty neutral about the 5 nodes [we knew it was there, and now they are gone], but very positive about the tumor, very positive about the fact that my CT scan came out clear [I was more worried about that than he was], and positive about the fact that a blood test revealed I am able to metabolize Tamoxfen effectively. [New research exposed that some people cannot metabolize this estrogen-stopping medication, which is a bad situation for them, as this is a key element needed to get to a long term cure.] I meet with the radiation oncologist tomorrow [who was awarded the physician of the year from the Amercian Cancer Society in Ky this past weekend, not a bad referral!] and we'll map out the radiation plan, probably to start in a few more weeks. I feel like I should have been whooping and hurraying, but all these steps lead to more of a "take a deep breath, and keep going" reaction from me if I am being really honest about it. I think as things slow down, and I try to figure out what normal life is again, there is this acceptance and reality that it will be a really long time before cancer is very far off my radar - don't get me wrong, I was relieved yesterday, just not as excited as I thought I would be, but not negative either. Hard to explain.

I will say, for those who know me well at all, a significant milestone was met the weekend before surgery - Chris and I took the kids to waterfront park and then ate out - I had a margarita and it tasted GOOOOOOOOOD! Though some things may change as normal gets re-established, some things my friends, like my affinity for a good margarita, will not! Maybe when we walk for Susan G Komen day in October, we'll celebrate with some yummy frozen green drink!

Monday, June 15, 2009 4:06 PM, EDT

I can seriously understand why Tikaani [my dog] pulled his drain out with his teeth. I am not far from that move myself. For the non-medical types, the drain I refer to is the tube sticking out of my side attached to a bulb at the end - sort of gross, not tremendously comfortable. Each day getting more and more irritating. My next chance for getting it out is Thursday, but right now I still have too much fluid. Fabulous. I would feel human if it wasn't for the @&#^#% drain!

Went back to work today - it went well - back to busy. My radiation oncology appt got bumped to this week, so I'll know what that routine will be like. We'll see if I can get another medical provider to say something like "wow, this is really unusual" or "this shouldn't be happening this way, I haven't seen this before" - since every other doc I have seen since being diagnosed has made such a comment. I must be special. As always, I'll let you know how it goes! Until then, cross your fingers I don't lose my mind and yank the drain...not sure if my surgeon would buy the "woops, I didn't mean to do that" excuse.

Thursday, June 18, 2009 2:11 PM, EDT

The drain is out! And no, I did not do it with my teeth. Though even this came with a hitch, [you really don't want details, kind of gross] but hopefully what's done is done and that chapter can be over. One step closer to normal, I can take my kids swimming and God forbid I get to sleep tonight w/o being stabbed in the side by that %#$@! tube!

I met my radiation oncologist yesterday and liked her alot. She wins the "Best Line delivered by one of Patty's doctors" award, when she came in the room perusing my chart she looks up and said: "Do you even realize how hard they've been pounding you for the past 6 months? You should look like they just peeled you off the pavement by now!" Apparently what I knew was "high dose" chemo was actually "highest dose allowable" chemo. Go figure. By the end of the conversation, she had caught onto the fact that self-care is not always a strong point for me and she not-so-gently reminded me that this wake up call needs to be given it's due respect or all this fighting will be wasted. Not that this hadn't already crossed even my stubborn mind, but it was interesting how refreshingly holistic she was, when she really could have just focused on zapping my boob in the right place for the next 6 weeks. She even called the pathologist about my nodes, and was encouraged by the high number of dead and dying cells were evident at removal. I must say, I continue to be pleased with my ever growing medical team. The main concerns for radiation are skin issues and fatigue, but nothing that should come close to the beating from chemo. For the next week, I get to get movement back in my arm, go back to Zumba, maybe even take the kids swimming. Holy crap - that almost sounds normal!