1 year Cancerversary

Yesterday marked one year since being diagnosed with breast cancer. I went on through the day like normal, not letting anyone know what the day meant...don't know why I do that, I seem to scatter between feeling like a puss for making such a big deal of it to being ticked off that no one knows what day it is but me. It was the day my life changed. The day I lost the safety of knowing I would get to see my kids grow up - I know none of us know that in the first place, but one year ago my life span shortened. Pretty surreal I think. I feel like alot is coming back together for me...getting more focused at work, getting more organized at home, getting ready for a vacation...all good moves. I am still a bit somber though, waiting for the fog or sadness to lift. That's how it is when it is quiet, and I am alone...whcih does not happen very often fortunately. I still haven't found or figured out what my role is after all is said and done, I feel like I am supposed to honor my pink ribbon sisterhood somehow, or be doing something related to breast cancer, but havne't figured that out yet. For now, I just want to keep trying to get my life back, and get it back better this time.